Honoring Valentine’s Day With or Without a Partner

Outside of Christmas, Valentine’s Day may be the most stress-inducing holiday of the year. For those who are in a relationship, the pressure to be “super romantic” and to hit all the right notes on that day is almost like it will be a test of your love.

For those who don’t have a partner, Valentine’s Day can be a painful reminder of that loneliness and isolation. With that in mind, here are some ways that you can honor the holiday with love and kindness without the stress or sadness that may sometimes be associated with it.

• Before we even begin, let’s dispel one huge myth about Valentine’s Day. This day is not meant to be a test of whether or not you love your partner. If your partner truly tries to place a value on your love based on what you get them for Valentine’s Day, or whether you are romantic, or where you take them for dinner, then maybe you are not in a healthy relationship to begin with. It is also not a test of whether you are desirable as a person if you do not have a partner on Valentine’s Day. Try to take the stress out of this, which you can do with our next step.
• The next thing you need to do is gain some perspective on what the day means. Just like with Christmas, marketers have latched onto this holiday as a means of commercializing it for more money. (Don’t believe me? Two days before Christmas, our local “big box superstore” moved all of the Christmas candy and merchandise to the clearance aisles and began stocking Valentine’s cards and candy.) So use this time to talk with your partner about what the day truly means to you. Communicate with him or her about how you would like to celebrate this holiday together and what would be the best reflection of your love.
• If you are not in a relationship, it may seem like you have no one to love. But that is never true. On Valentine’s Day, organize a counter-Valentine’s dinner with your single friends where you can share in the love of your friendship. If you are divorced or widowed, then you can still connect with your children or family members. Make this day a celebration of LOVE in all of its aspects, not just romantic love.

This Valentine’s Day, remember that love is what the holiday is all about. But love is not reflected in commercial goods or dinners. Love is not just about romance and desire. Love should be enjoyed and appreciated in all of its forms for a healthier holiday.

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