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Training Your Kids to Be More Independent

Written by Marybeth Heckler on July 21, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

If you’re a parent, you probably read stories online about adult children still living in their parents’ basement and think, “That will never be my kids.” But the fact is, their parents probably thought the same thing at one point.

Possibly the greatest attribute you can give your children is the ability to be independent. But this isn’t something that you start trying to develop in their late teenage years and it’s not a trait that they are going to just pick up on their own.

With that in mind, here are some tips on how to help train your kids from early on to be more independent:

Do some soul-searching—First off, you need to determine if you are the biggest hindrance to your child’s independence. Ask yourself, honestly, if you find yourself doing tasks for your child just because it’s easier to do it yourself. If that’s the case, then you will need to change some things in your own life to make sure that you can help them become independent.
Chores are a good thing—The next thing you need to do is determine what chores your child can conceivably do at their age. Even smaller children can still be expected to do things like picking up their toys and putting them away. As they get older, tasks such as making the bed, dressing, and brushing their teeth on their own can be added. As they develop more and more responsibility, you can “take the training wheels off” and expect them to do these tasks without being reminded. This establishes early on that you expect them to do things by themselves and that these will eventually have to be done without you having to hound them about it.
So is failure—Another thing that parents have to get over is the idea that their children should never fail at something. This is totally unrealistic. We all fail sometimes, and the truly mature adult is the one who can learn from his or her failures and ensure that they don’t follow this same path again. If you are a helicopter parent who swoops in to rescue your child every time it looks like they are going to mess up or fail, then you will probably spend the rest of your life doing just this. Failure isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Independence is something that every parent wants for their children. But in order to make your child responsible, it’s necessary for you to loosen the reins and let them get out there themselves and fail if possible. If you have teenagers and you insist on doing everything for them and protect them from every potential negative consequence, then you may want to go ahead and clean a space out for them in the basement because it might be a while before they get out on their own.

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Is Your Family Ready to Upsize Their Living Space?

Written by Marybeth Heckler on July 15, 2019. Posted in Real Estate.

When the housing bubble burst in the early 2000s, a lot of people realized they had purchased homes that were too big for them. Since then, many people have been skittish about upsizing their homes for fear of taking on more than they can afford.

This is certainly a valid argument, but you should still be able to upsize if your finances and lifestyle allow for it. Here are some things to think about as you decide whether or not upsizing is right for your family.

Determine what you need…and if it is a need—The first thing you want to do is determine just how much house you need. If you are currently in a two-bedroom, two bath home with three or more children, then you are going to have to look at a larger home. However, a family with only one child may be able to live comfortably in a two-bedroom home. Ultimately, think about what you want in your new home that your old one does not have. Then decide if these are absolute must-haves or features you can live without.
Do some financial soul-searching—Take a look at your budget for each month. If you are barely scraping by after paying your bills, then you are going to probably have to stay where you are. But if you are able to put a lot into savings or you have discretionary funds that you can use, then you need to calculate that into what you can afford to buy. Look closely at what you can afford before you start to shop around.
Don’t forget to calculate utilities and other expenses—Remember that a larger house also means a higher utility cost. Use your current utilities cost as a baseline. For example, if you are in a 1500 square foot house and pay, on average, $250 a month in power costs. If you upgrade to a 3000 square foot home, you could see your power bill climb to $500. That’s a big jump that you need to factor in when making your plans. The same can be said for other expenses such as lawn care if you move into a home that sits on a larger lot.
Location can have an impact—Remember that it’s not just about the size of the house, but also about the location. If you buy a 2000 square foot home in one neighborhood, you may be able to get a 2500 square foot home for almost the same cost IF you are willing to move to a less desirable neighborhood. This might mean moving farther away from your work or other social requirements. But if you are willing to make this sacrifice, you may be able to afford a larger home.

If your family is growing and you are in need of a larger house, then it’s time to do some research when it comes to your finances and home needs. If you’re ready to make the move to a larger home, you need to make sure that you can afford it before you decide to commit.

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Fourth of July Activities Around Denver This Week

Written by Marybeth Heckler on July 3, 2019. Posted in Denver.

Summer has arrived, and as those temperatures start to climb all over the Denver area, it’s time to start planning for the biggest event of the summer—Fourth of July!

This year, there are plenty of activities going on during the week leading up to the big day as well as the weekend to follow. Here’s a sampling of what’s on deck so that you can go ahead and make plans for you and your family:

Fireworks—The biggest and most traditional of these events is, of course, the local fireworks celebration. This year, the Independence Eve Celebration will take place on July 3 in Civic Center Park. Besides the fireworks finale, which is always spectacular, the program also features a patriotic concert and light show on the Denver City and County Building. If you are planning to attend, be sure to get there early to get a spot on the lawn as it is first-come, first-served and it tends to fill up fast. There are no reserved “seats” so bring your own lawn chair, beach blanket, and plenty of bottled water. Also, consider using public transportation as parking will be at a premium for this big event.
Sports—If you like a little bit of action with your entertainment, then there are two sports events to look forward to. The first is America’s favorite pastime—baseball. The Colorado Rockies will be hosting the Houston Astros on July 2^nd and 3^rd. On the 2^nd, the team will be giving out handheld American flags as a promotion, and both the 2^nd and 3^rd will feature post-game fireworks displays. This is a great option if you don’t want to have to fight for a spot at the public fireworks display. But if you want something a little different, now is the perfect time to check out the Denver professional lacrosse team, the Outlaws. They will be playing the Chesapeake Bayhawks at Broncos Stadium on July 4^th.
History and Literature—If you prefer your history less American Revolution and more War of the Roses, then you might want to check out the Colorado Renaissance Festival which will be running from June 15^th to August 4^th in Larkspur. Or, you can also enjoy a Shakespeare in the Park experience which will perform the bard’s comedy As You Like It on July 6^th and 7^th at the University of Colorado Boulder Theater.
Music—Every year, there are plenty of musical acts that come to the Denver area. For the week of the Fourth of July, Red Rocks will host Zeds Dead, Blues Traveler, and a three-night set from the Avett Brothers. Other concerts coming to the area include Shawn Mendes (July 2^nd), Santana and the Doobie Brothers (July 3^rd), Melissa Etheridge (July 7^th) and City Park Jazz (June 30^th and July 7^th). There’s definitely something for almost every musical taste in your family.

From traditional events like fireworks and baseball to some unusual choices like jousts and lacrosse, there’s definitely something for everyone this year during Fourth of July week in Denver.

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Financial Independence Strategies for Moms

Written by Marybeth Heckler on June 30, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

Let’s face it: trying to raise a kid (or kids!) can be a terrifying proposition in this day and age. One of the main reasons why it gets so scary is the cost that is involved. Kids aren’t cheap.

According to one study, the cost of raising a child for 17 years will run you almost $250,000. All of this can put a strain on your finances, particularly if you are a single mom trying to handle it alone.

If you are in this situation, it’s probably time to sit down and do an examination of your finances so that you can declare your own financial independence.

Assess where you stand—The first thing you need to do is to learn how to do a budget. First, look at your past three months (or even the past year’s) spending and sort things into three levels. The first should be for absolute essential purchases and bills, such as mortgage/rent, utilities, car payment, and the like. The second should be for things that are essential (or pretty close) but that you may have some “wiggle room” with, such as phone bill and groceries. The third should be your absolute nonessential bills. This would include that daily Frappuccino from Starbucks, your shoe and purse collection, and your subscriptions to things like Netflix and Spotify.
Say goodbye to the last section—That third pile of nonessential bills are going to have to go bye-bye (at least until you get more stability in your finances). Sure, these are items that you are going to miss, but they are not something that will destroy your life if you get rid of them. If you are spending $5 a day every workday at Starbucks, then cutting that out will save you over $1250 a year. Just cutting out these types of expenses for a couple of years may hurt at first, but it will allow you to pay off your debts and be more stable with your finances.
Adjust the middle section—Start looking carefully at those bills that you can adjust each month. When it comes to groceries, remember that there is nothing wrong with being a coupon and sales shopper. Also, consider getting a membership to a wholesale club like Costco and buy everything in bulk so you can save money in the long-run. Also, look at things like your Internet and phone bills and see if you can cut those back to the absolute minimum. Remember, every penny counts.
Pick up a second job—This may sound hard to do if you have children, especially ones who need constant care or those who have to be shuttled around by mom’s taxi service. But there are several jobs that you can do from home, including everything from medical coding to blogging. Now’s the time to explore some of these part-time options that can give you a secondary income that will help you get out of debt faster. Once you can get rid of those pesky credit card bills, you can cut back and still maintain your independence.

Financial independence isn’t something that is going to happen overnight. But with some time and careful planning (and a good bit of sacrifice), you can get things on track so that you can stop living paycheck-to-paycheck.

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How Moms Can Take Back a Bit of Independence

Written by Marybeth Heckler on June 24, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

Being a mother can be a wonderful and beautiful experience. But one of the biggest complaints that I hear from other moms is that they feel like they lose their own identity once the kids are born. They suddenly become this monolithic being called “MOM” and have to spend every moment of their day focused on their kids to the point that they don’t really have time for themselves.

The good news is there is a way to work past this so that you can reclaim a bit of your independence and become a fully realized individual. The key to all of these is to find a way to manage your time. But once you do that, you can take back your independence in several areas.

Here’s how:

Physical Independence—It’s a fact that as we get older, our bodies start to fall apart on us. One of my favorite quotes from Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias is, “Honey, time marches on, and sooner or later, you realize it’s marching across your face.” But with that in mind, we still want to hold onto our youthful looks and physical energy and being a full-time mom can really sap that out of you. Exercise may not be on your radar, but it needs to be. If you have small kids, load them up in a stroller, give them a bottle or some juice, and just walk around the neighborhood. If your children are old enough to walk, have them join you. (A little exercise never hurt anyone.) But while you are walking, plug in your headphones and tune out the world a little just so you can focus on your physical well-being, but also so you can stay inside your own head for a little while and just think about the things that matter to you.
Mental Independence—You’ve got to work your mind a little each and every day or else it’s going to atrophy. This can seem hard if the highlight of mental activity for your day is reading “Goodnight Moon” for the millionth time. It’s important to always have a book handy so that you can keep your mind working on more mature ideas. If you are rolling your eyes thinking, “How am I ever going to read a book?” then don’t worry. Today, you can easily get an audiobook to listen to in every minute of “me time” that you have. This can be when you are taking those neighborhood walks I mentioned in my last point, when you are cleaning the house, or when you are driving the kids to soccer practice. Reclaim every moment that you can and do something that will help you grow independently.
Spiritual Independence—This one is a little trickier because it’s not something you can really multi-task. But set aside ten minutes each day for quiet, personal reflection. Once the kiddies are tucked away for the night, turn down the lights and just listen to the world around you. If you choose meditation, that’s great. If you call it “vegetation” instead, then that works too. Just spend some quiet time with your own thoughts and you will be amazed at how much of yourself you can liberate.

These are three areas that any woman needs to work on to help find the fully actualized version of who they are and who they want to be. Motherhood should not be seen as an impediment to these goals. Instead, you just need to work on your time management so that you can reclaim a little bit more of yourself and choose independence.

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Backyard Summer Camp Ideas for Stay-at-Home Moms

Written by Marybeth Heckler on June 17, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

If you are trying to be a parent on a budget, then you know that summer camps may sound great, but they can really be expensive. That’s why so many stay-at-home moms are trying to turn their own backyards into a summer camp experience.

This way, you can keep the kids occupied, engage them physically and mentally in worthwhile activities, and you don’t have to break your bank.

Here are some ideas on how you can turn your home into a backyard summer camp:

The first things you are going to want to do is get organized and collect supplies.

When it comes to organization, just remember three key areas that the average summer camp takes care of: physical activities, arts and crafts, and evening/social activities. Try to schedule activities around these three areas. Also, be sure to stock up on cheap art supplies. (The Dollar Store is a good place to pick these up.)

Morning Activities—I find it easier to split the activities up by time of day. The morning is usually best for athletic and physical activities because of the heat. You don’t really want to spend the hottest part of the day outside and sweating, so schedule them for the morning. I also like to have about five main activities that I can rotate around so that they don’t do them each and every day.
You might want to include time at the local pool (always a favorite), archery (a perennial summer camp favorite that you can enjoy at a local range), golfing (or at least hitting a few buckets on the driving range), bowling, or just going for a walk in the park or around the neighborhood. If you have a lot of kids in your neighborhood, consider organizing a softball or kickball game.

Afternoon Activities—The afternoon should be about arts and crafts and more mentally engaging activities. These don’t have to be very expensive, but again, variety helps. You can load up on cheap art supplies to do everything from painting to coloring to origami. But you can also include mentally engaging activities, like writing an original story, reading, and completing jigsaw puzzles. You can also use this time to help your child learn a new skill like photography or cooking.
Evening Activities—If you really want to go for the camp experience, then consider getting a camping tent and setting it up in the backyard with a sleeping bag. This is when you should just sit around and talk with your kids. Have them tell you stories and tell them some from your childhood as well. Older kids may balk, but they still like to hear stories, especially if you tell them around a campfire. And don’t forget to make some S’mores on that fire.

This year, you don’t have to send your kids off to an expensive summer camp or even a local day camp. You can work to create the same experience in your own backyard.

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Summer Staycation Ideas for Families in Denver

Written by Marybeth Heckler on June 10, 2019. Posted in Denver.

Summer vacation is here and for many of us, the idea of being locked in a cramped car or plane for hours on end just makes us cringe. Thankfully, some brave soul a few years ago coined the phrase “family staycation” and it has been growing in popularity.

For those who don’t know, a staycation is where you stay at home and spend your summer vacation resting and relaxing and either doing some things in the general area of your home or venturing out on a road trip that is fast and able to get you home that night with no hotel accommodations required.

Here, then, are some of the best staycation ideas for those families in the Denver area:

Breckenridge—Let’s start with this beautiful little town that is about 90 minutes outside of Denver (on the way to Vail). Although this area is known for its winter sports and recreation, the summertime boasts popular activities such as an alpine gondola, horseback riding, and even an alpine rollercoaster, luge, and rope-course. This abundance of activities will keep your family happy and occupied on your trip.
Garden of the Gods—This one is great for multiple reasons. First, admission is free to the nature park, where you can walk and explore some of the most beautiful sights in the world. For additional fees, you can do rock climbing experiences and jeep tours as well.
Downtown Aquarium—This Denver staple is always a great place for a quiet day of watching fish and other sea creatures. New to the aquarium is an exhibit that allows you to suit up in scuba gear and explore a tank filled with sharks from the safety of a shark cage.
Butterfly Pavilion—While we are talking about the beauty of nature, you might want to consider doing a staycation trip to the Butterfly Pavilion. For the prettier and relaxing side of this exhibit, you can check out butterflies that are indigenous to regions from Colorado to the tropics. But you can also check out some of the creepier crawlies such as Rosie the Tarantula, as well as underwater invertebrates.
Casa Bonita—This has been a staple in the area for over 40 years and is the very definition of “dinner and a show.” The restaurant features great Mexican staples (including an all-you-can-eat buffet), plus a variety of shows including pirates, gorillas, cliff divers, and a gunfight. You can also check out puppet shows, the arcade, and spend some time at the gift shop.

Don’t feel like you have to go on a massive road trip this summer to have some fun and relax. Instead, stay at home and do a few day trip activities in the general Denver area.

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Top 10 Summer Maintenance Tips for Homeowners

Written by Marybeth Heckler on June 3, 2019. Posted in Home Improvement.

Yet another summer is upon us, which means now is the perfect time to take charge of a whole slew of maintenance projects around your house. Once the freezing cold temperatures and rainy days of winter are gone, you should have better weather to get lots of these projects completed.

Here are the top ten things you need to work on around the house for summer:

HVAC service—You had to know this would be number one. Right before the summer temperatures start to go through the roof, you really need to get your air conditioning unit serviced. The last thing you want is a 100+ degree day only to have your AC go out on you.
Chimney and fireplace cleaning—Now that you should be done using your fireplace, this is the perfect time to call in a professional and have your chimney professionally cleaned. This will get rid of dangerous soot and grime, which can easily aggravate allergies.
Dust your fans—Use an extendable duster to reach your ceiling fans, but also take apart any portable fans and clean the dust out of the blades. This not only will keep your fans running longer, but also cut down on the spread of dust and allergens when you start cranking them up this summer.
Changer your air filter—This one needs to be done about every 90 days, so now is the perfect time to go ahead and change the filter out.
Check your smoke detector and carbon monoxide batteries—Another quarterly project, this is the perfect opportunity to make sure everything is running smoothly to keep your home and family safe.
Pressure wash the house—Another project that works well at this time of year is a pressure washing of your home’s exterior.
Inspect and repair your back porch and deck—If you plan on doing some entertaining outside this year, make sure to inspect your deck and porch for loose boards or protruding nails. If the wood is looking weathered, you may need to stain it and apply a weather seal.
Clean out your gutters and downspouts—After months of winter and spring storms, summer is the right time to clear out the gutters and get rid of any accumulated debris.
Service the lawnmower—Summer is when you are going to be spending a lot of time working on your yard. Take this opportunity to get your lawnmower inspected and serviced so it will run smoothly this season.
Window maintenance—Remove and wash your screens and inspect them to see if any need to be replaced.

This summer get your house in tip-top shape and running smoothly with these maintenance tips. By doing so, you’ll have a more enjoyable vacation season and have lots of fun staying at home.

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Top Parks for Families in Denver

Written by Marybeth Heckler on May 27, 2019. Posted in Denver.

Summer is upon us and if you are like me, you are dreading the prospect of being packed away in the house with kids whining about having “nothing to do.” I always like to have a backup plan on hand for a fun day activity that will let the kids run themselves ragged and get rid of all that crazy energy that they seem so full of.

Here are some of the top parks in Denver that you can take your family to this summer for a fun-filled day:

Central Park (Stapleton)—I’ve got to put this one at the top of my list for the sheer joy of the place and the beautiful, vibrant colors. Central Park has purple trees and colorful foam mountains that serve as the backdrop for family fun. Alongside this creative décor, they also have activities for all kids including rock-climbing and traditional playground equipment. There is also a fountain and sandcastle area for those who miss getting to do this at the beach. Finally, you absolutely must check out the “sensory sound garden” that allows kids to experiment with chimes and drums.
Westminster Center Park (Westminster)—One of my favorite children’s tales is Peter Pan, so it should come as no surprise that this one is highly recommended. Westminster Center Park is also affectionately called Peter Pan Park because it is built around creating a miniature Neverland for kids to explore. The park boasts playground equipment built around a pirate ship, as well as tunnels, rocks, logs, and bridges that will fire up their imagination.
Discovery Park (Wheat Ridge)—This one gets high marks for the sheer variety of the activities at the park. Besides having traditional playgrounds for little kids and older ones as well, you can also enjoy sandcastle building in the sandpit and cool down at the splash pad. This one also sets itself apart from other parks by its natural beauty (a creek runs right through it) and the skate park which allows your adventurous older kids to enjoy themselves.
Downtown Children’s Playground (Denver)—No list of parks could be complete without this perennial favorite. The only thing that might detract from this one is that it is too well-located. Because it is in the heart of downtown, it gets larger crowds, especially on the weekends or during major family events. But if you do find yourself in the area and want the kids to run off steam, this park not only has traditional playground features, but it also includes a rubberized cushioning that will protect the little ones if they take a tumble.

No matter what part of Denver you are in, check out the local parks and playgrounds in your area. Spend some time during the day or early evening running off that energy and your kids may even wear themselves out and sleep well that night.

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Throwing a House-Warming Party

Written by Marybeth Heckler on May 23, 2019. Posted in Homeowner.

If you’ve finally purchased the home of your dreams, you’re probably itching to show it off to your friends and family. House-warming parties are a great way to do this.

As with any type of party, it takes a little bit of planning to pull off a successful house-warming event.

Here are a few things to keep in mind when planning such a get-together:

Don’t schedule it when you first move in—It’s going to take a while for you to get your home settled and all of the stuff unpacked. As soon as you’ve got most of your things put away and the boxes thrown out, then you can start doing some planning. For most people that will be at least several weeks.
Don’t worry about printed invites—Keep this one simple and informal with email invitations instead of going out and getting them printed up and mailed out.
Invite your neighbors—While you are working on the invites, don’t forget to invite your neighbors. This is the perfect way to get a chance to meet them and let them get to know you in return.
Register—Another thing you’ll want to do is set up a registry so that your friends can buy those items that you need to put the finishing touches on your home. Then, when the party is over, you can get a good handle on what’s left for you to buy for the new house.
Food and Drink—For a housewarming party, you are going to want to keep the food simple and not do a huge sit-down meal. Instead, take advantage of warmer weather this spring and set up a barbeque in the backyard and grill hot dogs and burgers along with chips and other cookout foods. When it comes to drinks, be sure to have a table laid out with sodas and ice and another one set up with adult beverages.
Don’t use the dishes—This is an informal, fun day, and you want to keep the cleanup at a minimum. Be sure to use paper plates and disposable cups so you can just throw everything in the trash and not have to deal with a sink full of dishes.

Now that you have a home, it makes sense that you want to show it off. Throw a housewarming party and be ready to take your friends and family on a grand tour of the new place. This will give you a chance to get to know your neighbors and celebrate your achievement with your loved ones.

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