Motherhood Archives - Page 10 of 11 - Marybeth Heckler | Blog

Getting the House Back Together After Sending the Kids to School

Written by Marybeth Heckler on August 18, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

If you are a mom of school-age children, then the impending start of the school year is probably feeling like Christmas. You’re so excited to get them back at school so you can get things around the house organized and cleaned instead of having a bunch of little ones camped out all day in front of the TV.

This is a time to restart your house now that it’s empty, and you can do a little bit of “spring cleaning” in the fall. Here are some top tips on how to get your house back into shape after a grueling summer with the kids:

Clothes Clean-Up — One of the few things that kids get excited about when it comes to going back to school is shopping for new clothes. But if you’re going to make room for the new, this is the perfect time to clear out the old. Go through the kids’ closets and dressers and pull out all of the clothes that don’t fit anymore or are looking a little worn around the edges. Create a three-pile system—keep, donate, and trash. But don’t just do this for the kids. This is also a great time to get your own closet under control and pick yourself up a new outfit while you are at it.

Summer Gear and Toys — If you have a pool or go to the beach quite a bit, then chances are you have lots of swimming toys lying around, from sand pails and shovels to floats and noodles. Now is the perfect time to put these away. Be sure to deflate the floats completely and fold them up and place everything in a tote (or two) so that you can unpack them when the summer comes around again.

Refrigerator Maintenance — Now that the kids are gone, you should also take the time to get your refrigerator under control. Empty everything out and toss the expired foods. Be sure to clean all the drawers out with Clorox wipes to disinfect them. Also, pull the fridge out and be sure to clean off the coils to get rid of any accumulated dust. Now, you should have your fridge under control and be able to maintain it easier.

Change the Air Filters — This is something that you need to do once every quarter or so. However, it’s really easy to forget to do it and let that time slip. So, take this as a reminder to change out the filters.

School Supply Organization — If you have a home office or a desk that is used by the family for homework and computers, this is what you should use to get your school supplies organized. Extra paper, pens, and notebooks can be placed into bins and stored on or near the desk so that they can be pulled out when needed.

Now that summer is ending and everyone is heading back to school, it’s time to reclaim your home and get it back under control. This way, you can have some peace before the chaos of next summer arrives.

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Throwing the Best Garage Sale

Written by Marybeth Heckler on August 11, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

Even though spring cleaning was a few months ago, summer is still a perfect time of the year to relieve some of the clutter and also make a little extra money at the same time.

A garage sale gives you the opportunity to turn your unwanted “stuff” into cash, while also clearing out the disorder that comes from having things taking up space in your closets, garage, and “junk” room. (You know the one—the room that started as a junk drawer until it migrated and took over.)

If you’ve never had a garage sale, or you’re just interested in picking up tips for your next one, here are what you need to consider:

1. Find the Best Date and Time
One thing you want to do is check in advance (at least a week) to get a general weather forecast. There’s no point in scheduling a sale if your weatherman is predicting a torrential downpour.

Generally, most people schedule their sales for Saturday mornings so that more people can attend as opposed to having it during a workday. If you have a lot of stuff to sell, you may want to have it over two days if you can (meaning a Saturday and Sunday). You also want to get the sale done early so you miss the heat of the day. Ideally, a 6 am to noon sale works best.

2. Advertise
The earlier you can advertise your garage sale, the better. Many people wait until the night before to put out signs. This is fine, but you want to do a little advertising earlier in the form of social media posts.

If you’re a member of an HOA (homeowner’s association) that has a Facebook page, post about your sale. Also, send out tweets and Instagram posts to try to get the word out. (NOTE: Many neighborhoods host “community garage sale” days where everyone in the area is encouraged to hold a sale. This can help bring in traffic, but the downside is that you have more competition.)

3. Declutter
Now you’re going to need stuff to sell. The best thing to do is get a box and go room by room through all of your belongings to find things you don’t want or need anymore. Have your kids do the same thing with their toys. As you put the items into the boxes, you can also keep tape on hand, so you can price them as you go. This way, you won’t have to go back and price everything later on.

4. Stock Up on Change
One of the worst things is to have someone want to buy an item and you not have enough change to cover the sale. Pick up at least $20 in quarters along with a mix of ones, fives, and tens. (If you can get about $100 total in change, you should be set. Remember, you can always re-deposit what you don’t use when you’re done.)

If you’re ready to get your house clutter under control and make some money at the same time, then a garage sale is definitely the way to go. If you’re left with a lot of stuff at the end, I always suggest just taking it out to your vehicles and donating it. If you can’t get the sale, at least someone may be able to use it and you can pick up a tax deduction in the process.

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Host a School Supply Drive for Needy Families in Denver

Written by Marybeth Heckler on August 4, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

Anyone who is part of the educational process—be it teachers, parents, or students—knows that school can be an expensive proposition.

Unfortunately, education budgets have been hit across the country and many school systems have had to cut back on supplies that they provide to the classrooms. This means that students are expected to bring more and more of the supplies they (and their classmates) will need from home.

When you couple this with economic issues such as unemployment and even homelessness, you can imagine that many parents are finding it hard to provide their children with basic supplies like paper and notebooks.

If you wish to help needy families in your area, here’s how you can host a school supply drive:

Don’t do it alone — A supply drive can be a huge undertaking, especially if you want it to be a success. As such, you need to enlist the help of friends or neighbors who can organize this with you and staff the drop-off locations.
Get advice from the experts — If you’re wondering just what type of supplies are needed, talk to the experts. Contact teachers and principals to see exactly what items they’ll be needing when the kids come back at the end of summer. Most school websites post a list of needed school supplies for each teacher (or grade level). Use these as a starting point for your own drive.
Find a drop-off location — Generally speaking, you’re going to want a place that’s open to the public, large enough to house the supplies you hope to bring in, and centrally located. Speak with local church groups, community centers, or even the local library to see if they can let you use their facilities for this project. If all else fails, contact the schools themselves to see if you can host your drive there.
Promote the drive on social media — This is an absolute must. You want to make sure everyone knows about this event to ensure donations. You should definitely use “traditional” advertising venues such as the local newspaper, but a really great way to promote your event is on social media such as Facebook or Instagram. This way, you can create digital “flyers” of the needed supplies and let your friends, family, and followers know exactly what needs to be purchased.
Timing is everything — Many major retailers host back-to-school sales. In some locations, the entire state may have a Tax-Free weekend with no sales tax on school-related purchases. Hold your drive during or immediately after these events so that people can stock up on items to donate to your cause.

A school supply drive is a great way to help out underpaid teachers who often spend thousands of dollars to help buy materials for their students who can’t afford them. By doing this, you provide for those who are needy while showing support and love to your teachers who greatly need it.

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Weekend Getaways for Families Before School Starts

Written by Marybeth Heckler on July 28, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

Summer is well underway and many people are trying to get in as many family vacations as they can before the school bell rings this fall.

If you’ve already enjoyed your major vacation for the year, or you’re just looking for a cheap weekend rest from the weekly grind, there are always quick vacations you can take for just a couple of days.

Here are some of the best weekend vacation spots in Colorado that you can check out this summer before the little ones head back to school:

1. Beaver Creek
If you’re looking for someplace small and off the beaten path, try this location just a few miles outside of Vail. During the summer, the area is perfect for families that like to spend time outdoors. The area is perfect for hiking, biking, fishing, and other activities including mini-golf that can keep the family entertained.

2. Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park
Are you looking for something “outdoorsy” that can get your kids active and into the fresh air while also handling the complaint that this nature stuff is “boring?” Well, try the Glenwood Caverns park. This location has two things going for it. First, you can spend time exploring the beautiful caverns in the area learning about the natural phenomena that went into making them. You can also enjoy thrill rides including a zip line, roller coaster, and giant swing.

3. The Stanley Hotel
Located in Estes Park, this is a beautiful natural area that lends itself perfectly to hiking and exploring. But the real draw for many people is the Stanley Hotel, the inspiration for Stephen King’s Overlook Hotel in The Shining. To keep with this supernatural theme, the hotel also runs ghost tours, which can be a lot of fun for those who don’t scare too easily.

4. Breckenridge
Another small town with lots of charm, Breckenridge is an authentic “western” town that has many quaint and interesting shops and restaurants. It’s a great spot to head out for whitewater rafting and horseback riding in a beautiful location under the amazing Colorado sky.

5. Colorado Gators Reptile Park
You don’t have to head to Florida to check out a really cool reptile park that gets you up close to some amazing animals. This park features alligators, lizards, snakes, and even has a reptile handling class. You can even check out a Hollywood legend in the form of Morris, the alligator from Adam Sandler’s Happy Gilmore.

There are a lot of different options for those who are looking to explore Colorado off the beaten path. Before school starts again this fall, take a weekend and travel with your family for rest and relaxation.

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Training Your Kids to Be More Independent

Written by Marybeth Heckler on July 21, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

If you’re a parent, you probably read stories online about adult children still living in their parents’ basement and think, “That will never be my kids.” But the fact is, their parents probably thought the same thing at one point.

Possibly the greatest attribute you can give your children is the ability to be independent. But this isn’t something that you start trying to develop in their late teenage years and it’s not a trait that they are going to just pick up on their own.

With that in mind, here are some tips on how to help train your kids from early on to be more independent:

Do some soul-searching—First off, you need to determine if you are the biggest hindrance to your child’s independence. Ask yourself, honestly, if you find yourself doing tasks for your child just because it’s easier to do it yourself. If that’s the case, then you will need to change some things in your own life to make sure that you can help them become independent.
Chores are a good thing—The next thing you need to do is determine what chores your child can conceivably do at their age. Even smaller children can still be expected to do things like picking up their toys and putting them away. As they get older, tasks such as making the bed, dressing, and brushing their teeth on their own can be added. As they develop more and more responsibility, you can “take the training wheels off” and expect them to do these tasks without being reminded. This establishes early on that you expect them to do things by themselves and that these will eventually have to be done without you having to hound them about it.
So is failure—Another thing that parents have to get over is the idea that their children should never fail at something. This is totally unrealistic. We all fail sometimes, and the truly mature adult is the one who can learn from his or her failures and ensure that they don’t follow this same path again. If you are a helicopter parent who swoops in to rescue your child every time it looks like they are going to mess up or fail, then you will probably spend the rest of your life doing just this. Failure isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Independence is something that every parent wants for their children. But in order to make your child responsible, it’s necessary for you to loosen the reins and let them get out there themselves and fail if possible. If you have teenagers and you insist on doing everything for them and protect them from every potential negative consequence, then you may want to go ahead and clean a space out for them in the basement because it might be a while before they get out on their own.

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Financial Independence Strategies for Moms

Written by Marybeth Heckler on June 30, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

Let’s face it: trying to raise a kid (or kids!) can be a terrifying proposition in this day and age. One of the main reasons why it gets so scary is the cost that is involved. Kids aren’t cheap.

According to one study, the cost of raising a child for 17 years will run you almost $250,000. All of this can put a strain on your finances, particularly if you are a single mom trying to handle it alone.

If you are in this situation, it’s probably time to sit down and do an examination of your finances so that you can declare your own financial independence.

Assess where you stand—The first thing you need to do is to learn how to do a budget. First, look at your past three months (or even the past year’s) spending and sort things into three levels. The first should be for absolute essential purchases and bills, such as mortgage/rent, utilities, car payment, and the like. The second should be for things that are essential (or pretty close) but that you may have some “wiggle room” with, such as phone bill and groceries. The third should be your absolute nonessential bills. This would include that daily Frappuccino from Starbucks, your shoe and purse collection, and your subscriptions to things like Netflix and Spotify.
Say goodbye to the last section—That third pile of nonessential bills are going to have to go bye-bye (at least until you get more stability in your finances). Sure, these are items that you are going to miss, but they are not something that will destroy your life if you get rid of them. If you are spending $5 a day every workday at Starbucks, then cutting that out will save you over $1250 a year. Just cutting out these types of expenses for a couple of years may hurt at first, but it will allow you to pay off your debts and be more stable with your finances.
Adjust the middle section—Start looking carefully at those bills that you can adjust each month. When it comes to groceries, remember that there is nothing wrong with being a coupon and sales shopper. Also, consider getting a membership to a wholesale club like Costco and buy everything in bulk so you can save money in the long-run. Also, look at things like your Internet and phone bills and see if you can cut those back to the absolute minimum. Remember, every penny counts.
Pick up a second job—This may sound hard to do if you have children, especially ones who need constant care or those who have to be shuttled around by mom’s taxi service. But there are several jobs that you can do from home, including everything from medical coding to blogging. Now’s the time to explore some of these part-time options that can give you a secondary income that will help you get out of debt faster. Once you can get rid of those pesky credit card bills, you can cut back and still maintain your independence.

Financial independence isn’t something that is going to happen overnight. But with some time and careful planning (and a good bit of sacrifice), you can get things on track so that you can stop living paycheck-to-paycheck.

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How Moms Can Take Back a Bit of Independence

Written by Marybeth Heckler on June 24, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

Being a mother can be a wonderful and beautiful experience. But one of the biggest complaints that I hear from other moms is that they feel like they lose their own identity once the kids are born. They suddenly become this monolithic being called “MOM” and have to spend every moment of their day focused on their kids to the point that they don’t really have time for themselves.

The good news is there is a way to work past this so that you can reclaim a bit of your independence and become a fully realized individual. The key to all of these is to find a way to manage your time. But once you do that, you can take back your independence in several areas.

Here’s how:

Physical Independence—It’s a fact that as we get older, our bodies start to fall apart on us. One of my favorite quotes from Dolly Parton in Steel Magnolias is, “Honey, time marches on, and sooner or later, you realize it’s marching across your face.” But with that in mind, we still want to hold onto our youthful looks and physical energy and being a full-time mom can really sap that out of you. Exercise may not be on your radar, but it needs to be. If you have small kids, load them up in a stroller, give them a bottle or some juice, and just walk around the neighborhood. If your children are old enough to walk, have them join you. (A little exercise never hurt anyone.) But while you are walking, plug in your headphones and tune out the world a little just so you can focus on your physical well-being, but also so you can stay inside your own head for a little while and just think about the things that matter to you.
Mental Independence—You’ve got to work your mind a little each and every day or else it’s going to atrophy. This can seem hard if the highlight of mental activity for your day is reading “Goodnight Moon” for the millionth time. It’s important to always have a book handy so that you can keep your mind working on more mature ideas. If you are rolling your eyes thinking, “How am I ever going to read a book?” then don’t worry. Today, you can easily get an audiobook to listen to in every minute of “me time” that you have. This can be when you are taking those neighborhood walks I mentioned in my last point, when you are cleaning the house, or when you are driving the kids to soccer practice. Reclaim every moment that you can and do something that will help you grow independently.
Spiritual Independence—This one is a little trickier because it’s not something you can really multi-task. But set aside ten minutes each day for quiet, personal reflection. Once the kiddies are tucked away for the night, turn down the lights and just listen to the world around you. If you choose meditation, that’s great. If you call it “vegetation” instead, then that works too. Just spend some quiet time with your own thoughts and you will be amazed at how much of yourself you can liberate.

These are three areas that any woman needs to work on to help find the fully actualized version of who they are and who they want to be. Motherhood should not be seen as an impediment to these goals. Instead, you just need to work on your time management so that you can reclaim a little bit more of yourself and choose independence.

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Backyard Summer Camp Ideas for Stay-at-Home Moms

Written by Marybeth Heckler on June 17, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

If you are trying to be a parent on a budget, then you know that summer camps may sound great, but they can really be expensive. That’s why so many stay-at-home moms are trying to turn their own backyards into a summer camp experience.

This way, you can keep the kids occupied, engage them physically and mentally in worthwhile activities, and you don’t have to break your bank.

Here are some ideas on how you can turn your home into a backyard summer camp:

The first things you are going to want to do is get organized and collect supplies.

When it comes to organization, just remember three key areas that the average summer camp takes care of: physical activities, arts and crafts, and evening/social activities. Try to schedule activities around these three areas. Also, be sure to stock up on cheap art supplies. (The Dollar Store is a good place to pick these up.)

Morning Activities—I find it easier to split the activities up by time of day. The morning is usually best for athletic and physical activities because of the heat. You don’t really want to spend the hottest part of the day outside and sweating, so schedule them for the morning. I also like to have about five main activities that I can rotate around so that they don’t do them each and every day.
You might want to include time at the local pool (always a favorite), archery (a perennial summer camp favorite that you can enjoy at a local range), golfing (or at least hitting a few buckets on the driving range), bowling, or just going for a walk in the park or around the neighborhood. If you have a lot of kids in your neighborhood, consider organizing a softball or kickball game.

Afternoon Activities—The afternoon should be about arts and crafts and more mentally engaging activities. These don’t have to be very expensive, but again, variety helps. You can load up on cheap art supplies to do everything from painting to coloring to origami. But you can also include mentally engaging activities, like writing an original story, reading, and completing jigsaw puzzles. You can also use this time to help your child learn a new skill like photography or cooking.
Evening Activities—If you really want to go for the camp experience, then consider getting a camping tent and setting it up in the backyard with a sleeping bag. This is when you should just sit around and talk with your kids. Have them tell you stories and tell them some from your childhood as well. Older kids may balk, but they still like to hear stories, especially if you tell them around a campfire. And don’t forget to make some S’mores on that fire.

This year, you don’t have to send your kids off to an expensive summer camp or even a local day camp. You can work to create the same experience in your own backyard.

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Why Moms Should Take Time to Be Creative

Written by Marybeth Heckler on March 7, 2019. Posted in Holidays, Motherhood.

If you spend any time on social media, you can often be in for a very humbling experience.

Many moms look at their peers on Facebook and Instagram and marvel at the creative work that they can accomplish while the rest of us are still trying to get a latte to jumpstart our mornings. But it doesn’t have to be that way, nor should it be that way.

March is International Ideas Month and March 8^th is International Women’s Day. Let’s celebrate both of these events together with a look at why moms should take the time to be creative.

The need for inspiration—One of the difficulties of being a mom is that you often feel like you are stuck in a world of little kids with no time for yourself or adult conversations. (There’re only so many times you can sing “The Wheels on the Bus” before you snap!)

By expressing yourself creatively, you can get back in touch with a side of yourself that you may have thought went away when you gave birth. If you feel like your creativity has been pushed to the backburner, then spend a day reconnecting with your creative side. Visit a museum or take a walk alone in the park. Send the kids off with the grandparents and spend the day listening to old music or writing poetry. Whatever inspires you and moves you emotionally is a great choice.

Take a class—You may be delighted to discover that there are many resources in the community for expressing yourself. If you live in an area with a small community college, you may want to take a class in photography, art, creative writing, or even cooking. (Anyone who has watched an episode of Chopped can attest that food can be a great way to be creative.)

But you don’t have to set aside that much time for your creative side. Have a girls’ night out at your local “wine and art” shop in order to get together with others, have a glass or two of vino, and then paint something that you can take home and put on the wall.

Beat the baby blues—Postpartum depression is a very real thing that affects thousands of women each year. But one way to fight any type of depression is with creativity and expression. Even if it is nothing more than keeping a journal of your thoughts, you are enabling yourself to express your ideas. This can help keep you sane when the challenges of motherhood start crowding in.

This March, spend some time caring for yourself for a change and learn how to express your creative side. If you get in touch with this key area of your life, you will find your mood elevated and your home life much better.

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Why Moms Love Living in Denver

Written by Marybeth Heckler on February 28, 2019. Posted in Denver, Motherhood.

Denver is a popular city that’s been growing steadily for about a decade. Ask any Denver mom, and they’re guaranteed to tell you it’s a great city for fun family activities, indoors or out.

But Denver’s also a great place for spoiling yourself and spending some “me time” to rejuvenate the body and spirit. Here are some of the best spots in Denver for moms who need a little self-care this month:

5 Star Salt Caves — If you want a day spa experience unlike any other, then check out this man-made “salt” cave. The entire center surrounds the cave, which is made of Himalayan salt. Here, you can relax in a quiet environment and breathe in the salt-infused air – which is said to improve sinuses and breathing. In addition to salt therapy, the spa also features other traditional therapies such as saunas, massages, and footbaths.
Upstairs Circus – Although this is better enjoyed with friends, it’s also a place you can come on your own to relax and get crafty. You can pay one fee for a variety of daily craft options and then design and craft all kinds of things including homemade jewelry and paintings as well as projects for the house such as key racks and serving trays.
Movie Night – You don’t have to go see the latest blockbuster or yet another Disney cartoon. The Alamo Drafthouse in Littleton features special presentations of older movies in an unusual setting. One of their regular Signature Series features is an older, elegant movie such as Little Women or Sense & Sensibility, and you can skip the popcorn and enjoy high tea and biscuits or finger sandwiches. Or get the girls together for a night out dancing at the movies. Recent Dance Party nights have featured Brittney Spears and the Backstreet Boys for some flashback hits.
BookBar – If you prefer a small, independent bookstore with real books rather than those big box stores or eBook readers, then you should check out this combination bookstore and wine bar. You can listen to a poetry reading, meet an author and get an autograph, or pick up a new book and curl up with a nice glass of wine.

Denver is a great city to explore and relax in. But for moms especially, it is filled with activities and opportunities that provide a break from the kids.

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