Motherhood Archives - Page 9 of 11 - Marybeth Heckler | Blog

Easy Self-Care Routines for Busy Moms

Written by Marybeth Heckler on February 16, 2020. Posted in Motherhood.

If you’re a mom, then you know just how selfless the job can be. Time can seem like a commodity just as important as money or credit.

But most moms also know that they have a tendency to spend their time on others—balancing family, career, volunteering, and the dozen other myriad activities that make up our day.

What usually gets lost by the wayside is time for yourself. And this can be very dangerous. If you don’t take time to care for yourself, then you’re at risk of running yourself so ragged you can’t take part in the activities you are needed for.

That’s why you need to implement these self-care routines to improve your overall health and well-being:

First, let’s talk about self-care for the body. You must stay active if you are going to keep yourself going. Unfortunately, active doesn’t mean bouncing out of the minivan to pick up a Starbucks coffee in between work and dropping off the kids at sports practice. Spend some time each week to just do some kind of physical activity. After you drop off the kids at practice, take a walk around the field or the block. Spend an hour each week practicing yoga. Or you can just spend time at home, outside, doing something physical and a little Zen like working in the yard or tending to a garden.
Next, you also need to keep your mind engaged. Studies have shown that incorporating good habits to keep yourself mentally aware can stave off diseases later in life like dementia. So for now, spend a few minutes each night before bed reading something for yourself or quietly meditating. You can also start keeping a journal to document your ideas and feelings. If you are artistic, drawing or painting classes might help out. (If you aren’t artistic, but wish you were, pick up an adult coloring book that are at every bookstore.) Take some time to work on a jigsaw puzzle or play a board game. (This one’s easy to do because you can get the kids involved.)
Finally, do something nice for yourself regularly that can help you on a personal or spiritual level. Take a class where you can meet new people and experience new things. Have a girl’s night out once a month to just unwind and relax and socialize. Or you can even just set aside an hour each week for a nice long relaxing bubble bath. All of these can help you cleanse the spirit and rejuvenate you for the rest of the week.

Moms have a rough job, but a rewarding one. But you aren’t good to anyone if you let yourself get worn down by doing too much. Take care of yourself as well as your family and you will be better as a mom in the long run.

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Ideas for Closing Out Your Year

Written by Marybeth Heckler on December 22, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

Before the New Year rolls around and you start trying to keep your resolutions, it’s a good idea to think back on 2019 with some reflections. Part of growth as an individual is to recognize what went well and what didn’t so you can grow from your mistakes.

Here are ideas you can use to close out your year in a positive light:

List your accomplishments — Start off your year-end wrap-up with a list of all your accomplishments. Don’t let any of them slip by, not even the small ones. It could be something as “simple” as organizing your household paperwork or cleaning out the junk room. It can be reading at least one book a week to improve yourself mentally or spiritually. Or it can be major goals like spending more time with your family and friends each month. Whatever your goals were in the previous year, acknowledge the things you’ve accomplished.

Celebrate what you’ve achieved — The New Year is a time to celebrate new beginnings. But also celebrate the things that you’ve done in the past year. If you’ve managed to reach your goals, treat yourself to something special. It can be a night out at your favorite restaurant or a special item that you’ve had your eye on. Regardless of what you choose, it will be able to motivate you to achieve more things in the coming year.

Forgive your own mistakes — Acknowledge that you have made mistakes. But the important thing here is to forgive yourself for making them. A good visualization exercise would be to list out mistakes and missteps you made in the past year. Then take the list and burn it. Don’t linger on your mistakes but learn from them so you don’t repeat them.

Find your joy — Find what makes you happy and embrace it. It can be any kind of hobby or activity. If you like sports and exercise, celebrate that and make it the focus of your coming year. If you are a fan of movies, then make it a goal to go to one a month. Whatever is your source of joy, list it and make it your centerpiece for the coming year.

Set goals for the coming year — Now, it’s time to set goals for your new year. Don’t try to make resolutions since these are easily broken. Just set a series of goals that you want to achieve in the new year such as specific activities you want to take part in.

In the coming year, it is important to set goals for self-improvement that can guide you. This will help you cultivate a growth mindset in everything that you do.

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Teaching Your Children How to Be Compassionate

Written by Marybeth Heckler on November 24, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

In the past few years, bullying has taken center stage as a major problem among our youth. Be it physical bullying in schools or psychological intimidation on social media, this has caused parents, educators, and policy-makers to stand up and take notice.

All of the “zero tolerance” policies in the world, though, will have no impact on children and their behavior unless we begin to teach our kids how to be more compassionate. We have to be able to see our actions and behaviors through the lens of someone else so that we can see how those actions impact others.

Here, then, are ways you can help your child show more sympathy and empathy towards others:

Lead by Example — The first thing you need to do is to show your child how to be compassionate with your own words and actions. Speak kindly and sympathetically of others and try not to be abrasive or critical of others in conversation (at least not within earshot of the kids). Also, show compassion to others in your everyday actions. This can be just as simple as teaching your child to look others in the eye and say “Hello” as they walk by. This teaches them to see others as people deserving of respect, an important step towards compassion.

Volunteer — Another important step in demonstrating compassion yourself is to volunteer your time helping others. Most people think of this as volunteering at soup kitchens and, while that is a great way to help others, you can also do this in smaller stages such as helping a neighbor with lawn work or tutoring kids after school. Your children should see that you are compassionate towards others so they can then turn this into their own actions. You can also introduce them to charitable organizations that seek to help others who are less fortunate, such as Meals-on-Wheels or those who are sick, such as the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

Get a Pet — One of the big reasons many people suggest getting a pet is because they can teach your child lessons that will stay with them for their whole lives. If your child has to clean up after, feed, and walk a pet, they learn to care for something besides themselves, a key component in compassion. If you are worried about making a major commitment with a cat or dog, start with something small like a fish.

If the people of the world could learn to be more compassionate, then a lot of our problems would actually fix themselves. But none of this will become a reality until we take the step to teach this to our children and the younger generations.

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How Kindness & Compassion Will Improve Your Life

Written by Marybeth Heckler on November 3, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

Kindness and compassion are two of the defining characteristics that make us a part of humanity as a whole. It’s actually a natural instinct among people, but some repress this feeling or ignore it because they are not mindful of the world around them.

It is the ability to acknowledge those around you, recognize their needs, commiserate with them, and even to show them compassion and sympathy when needed. But compassion can go beyond helping others—it can also benefit you as well.

Kindness can improve your health — Showing kindness and compassion can help improve your physical and mental health by lowering your stress levels, anxiety, and depression. When you perform an act of kindness, it gives you a positive feeling that translates into these healthy benefits. But it goes beyond that. When your stress and anxiety levels decrease, you can actually see a similar decrease in high blood pressure and an overall improvement in your ability to fight off diseases with a boost to your immunities.

Kindness can improve your personal happiness — One of the biggest benefits is that being kind helps you to feel happier in general. When you are focused on nothing but negativity around you, you tend to fall into a cycle of cynicism and depression. By breaking this cycle to show compassion to your fellow human beings, you are giving yourself a boost to your personal well-being.

Kindness allows you to expand your perspective — By showing kindness to others, you are allowing yourself to see the world from that person’s perspective. As Atticus Finch said in To Kill a Mockingbird, “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view…until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” Showing compassion lets you do that in a real world setting so that you can understand what the other person is feeling.

Kindness can improve the world around you — It may seem like a cliché, but kindness is contagious. If you show others an act of kindness or compassion, they and those around you are more likely to “pay it forward” and share that same action with others. When this happens, you actually help make the world a better place. And who doesn’t want to make the world a little bit better?

Kindness and compassion are two very important traits that need to be cultivated as much as possible. It may sound like a naïve proposition, but if everyone could just go out of their way to be a little kinder, the world would be a better place to live in.

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Impress Your House Guests on a Budget

Written by Marybeth Heckler on October 20, 2019. Posted in Homeowner, Motherhood.

Benjamin Franklin famously said that “fish and visitors smell after three days.” While Mr. Franklin may have been alluding to the idea of guests overstaying their welcome, many of us love the idea of playing host and welcoming in houseguests for either dinner parties or overnight visits.

But one of the problems with these types of visits is the need to overdo things and try to do “too much” to impress our guests. Here are some tips you can use to impress your guests if you are working on a budget:

Keep everyone entertained — It’s great to think that all your guests will be able to sit around and mingle with lively conversation. But as a host of a gathering, you still need to provide some entertainment for your guests. This doesn’t have to be really expensive. In fact, one entertainment item is making a huge comeback—board games. Whether it’s old favorites like Monopoly or Trivial Pursuit or newer adult-oriented games like Cards Against Humanity, these activities can get people mingling, talking, and laughing in no time with a very small investment on your part.

Spruce up the bathroom — This is where you can really shine with your guests. Add nice fluffy hand towels in the guest bathroom and throw in a scented candle for ambiance and decoration. Hand soaps and lotions are another good choice, just be sure to include a scented and non-scented option for those with allergies.

Keep them eating — The key to a person’s heart is through the stomach and you want to make sure your guests have plenty to munch on. Ask them ahead of time if they have any allergies so you can avoid these foods. Then set out food spots around the house. If you have guests for overnight, be sure to keep plenty of fresh water, juice, and soda on hand as well as snack items in the pantry and fridge. Good options here would be granola bars and cheese sticks. If you are working on a budget, stock up at your local warehouse store and buy in bulk. You can always chow down on the leftovers after your guests leave.

Get personal — If you’re having overnight house guests, a simple and inexpensive thing to impress them is with a personalized note. Simply get a small card or piece of stationery and write a personal note welcoming them to your home. If you really want to make it feel like an upscale hotel, have this on the guest bed which has been turned down with a piece of chocolate on the pillows.

Entertaining house guests doesn’t mean that you have to break your bank. Whether they are coming over for dinner or staying for a weekend, there are plenty of ways that you can welcome them to your home and impress them while still staying firmly on a budget.

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Halloween Activity Idea List for 2019

Written by Marybeth Heckler on October 13, 2019. Posted in Holidays, Motherhood.

October is on its way and many people are already looking forward to the coming of cooler temperatures and chilly autumn nights. But if you’re like a lot of us, October gets you thinking of one thing—Halloween!

This is the holiday that lets you get your scare on and enjoy the creepier side of Denver. Let’s take a look at some of the best activities for adults and families this year:

Elitch Gardens Fright Fest — This popular theme park is already a family favorite. But in October, the park stays open late for Fright Fest, featuring a series of haunted houses (including a circus themed one, so beware the creepy clowns) and a “fully-immersive” ghost story experience called Séance. These activities require an adult over 18 to accompany the kids and are only recommended for those 12 and over.

Denver Zoo — If you are looking for something better suited for the little ones, then consider the Enchanted Hollows at the Denver Zoo. It features an immersive art walk along with other fall time family favorites, such as pumpkin carving and cornhole. Older kids and adults can try out the ax throwing, and everyone can enjoy the “Scary-oke” sing-along.

Pumpkin Nights — Another family favorite is held at the Adams County Fairgrounds. This event features 3,000 hand-carved pumpkins on display, as well as many more Halloween displays on hand to entertain your family. The festival also has outdoor movie screenings, bounce houses, a fire show, and snacks when you work up an appetite.

Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas — Don’t let the title of this one fool you. Tim Burton’s film classic has become a perennial favorite for fans of both Christmas and Halloween. This year, the Colorado Symphony will have a screening of the film complete with live orchestral music. This one is sure to be a blast for movie and music fans.

Denver Botanic Garden’s Corn Maze — A favorite for those who like their fun a little less scary is the corn maze at Denver’s Botanic Gardens. The seven-acre corn maze is a great place to get lost and explore. And, if you do like a level of creepiness, then come back in the evening for the After Dark Corn Maze and Dead Zone Scream Park.

Denver Zombie Crawl – Halloween without zombies? Celebrate the living dead by dressing up as a zombie and coming out for the party which features vendors, a costume contest, and a physical challenge for teams called the “Organ Trail.”

There is plenty to do this October to celebrate the creepiness of the Halloween season. So whether you are an adult who enjoys being scared or a family that just likes a little bit of spookiness with your fun, there is plenty to choose from.

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National Book Month – Best Reads of 2019 for Moms

Written by Marybeth Heckler on September 29, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

It’s autumn, which means the kids are back in school and moms across the country have a few moments of precious free time in between helping with homework, volunteering at school, and chauffeuring the kids back and forth to activities.

But in those few moments of solitude, many of us try to take an opportunity to catch up on some of the books that have been stacking up on our “Want to Read” shelf on Goodreads. With that in mind, let’s do a run through with our pick for the best reads of 2019 for moms:

The Testaments by Margaret Atwood – This is probably the most anticipated book of the fall, if not the entire year. This book, a sequel to 1985’s dystopian classic The Handmaid’s Tale, is perfect for those who can’t get enough of the original book or the TV show it inspired. The Testaments focuses on three different narrators—Aunt Lydia, Agnes, and Daisy—as they explain their roles in the fictional nation of Gilead. For moms on the go, check out the audiobook which is narrated by Mae Whitman, Bryce Dallas Howard, and Ann Dowd (the actress who plays Aunt Lydia on the Hulu show.)
The Stranger Inside by Lisa Unger – For fans of dark thrillers, look no further than this story of a woman dealing with the abduction of her two friends as pre-teens. Now an adult with survivor’s guilt, she is thrust back into the case when the kidnapper is murdered, and a vigilante is on the loose targeting other criminals who “got away with murder.”
Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens – This book has gotten a lot of attention thanks to Reese Witherspoon, who has made it a selection for her book club and is developing it into a feature film. This beautiful story follows the “Marsh Girl,” a local legend who lives by herself in the North Carolina wilderness until she is thrust into modern society by two men from town. Check it out before the movie hits so you can say that the book was better.
If Ladies Who Punch: The Explosive Inside Story of “The View” by Ramin Setoodeh – If you prefer non-fiction with all the juicy details, check out this inside look at the TV show The View. One of the fascinating aspects of this seems to be the political backstage wrangling from hosts (both current and former) Star Jones, Rosie O’Donnell, and Whoopi Goldberg as they try to wrangle control of the show from creator Barbara Walters.
If Lock Every Door by Riley Sager – If you’ve got room for one more thriller, check out this one from the author of Final Girls. In this novel, a young apartment sitter winds up in a New York apartment building with some seriously dark secrets. Instead of just staying in and locking the doors, she investigates the disappearance of another young woman and facing down a killer in the building. Very intense and a great read if you want vicarious thrills.

Every minute for moms is precious. But this year, for National Book Month, spend some time with one (or all) of these great books. You will definitely appreciate the opportunity to recharge your batteries and enjoy some “me time.”

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Autumn Activities Bucket List for Families

Written by Marybeth Heckler on September 22, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

Autumn is almost here, and for many of us it’s our favorite time of the year. Maybe it has something to do with the sights, the smells, and the cooler temperatures that require snuggling up under a warm blanket, but there’s definitely something magical about the fall.

If you’re looking for something to do this fall with your family, we’ve got you covered. Take a look at the following bucket list activities for autumn and find one to try this year. Who knows, you may create a lasting family tradition!

• Visit a corn maze — Cornfields and ears of corn have long been a symbol for fall. This fall, visit a local corn maze and have fun getting lost and trying to navigate through the maze. (Just don’t cheat and walk through the maze “walls.”) This trend has really taken off with some corn maze farms getting VERY elaborate with their designs, including some inspired by John Deere tractors and the television show Stranger Things.

• Get in the Halloween spirit — There are actually a few things that you can do this year to make sure your family is ready for Halloween. First, visit your local pumpkin patch and pick out the perfect pumpkins to take home and carve into jack-o-lanterns. There are hundreds of free patterns for pumpkin carving that you can find.

You can make your own costumes together then go trick-or-treating as a family. If you really want to go all out, choose a theme costume for all of you. I’m a huge fan of the Aladdin, Jasmine, and Abu the monkey family costume.

• Get spooky — If you like your Halloween experience to be a little spookier, try having a Halloween horror movie marathon. For the younger kids, pick out cartoons and family-friendly options like Frankenweenie, Hocus Pocus, or Disney’s Halloweentown.

Older kids may love to be introduced to the black and white monster classics like Dracula, Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, and The Mummy.

If you’re feeling really adventurous, see if any local tour groups are offering ghost or cemetery tours. These can be a great way to find out more about local history and legends while getting a good scare in!

• Autumn treats — Autumn has its own menu of delicious seasonal treats that you should definitely partake in. These include pumpkin lattes (there’s a reason they are so popular), roasted pumpkin seeds, and apple cider. Consider baking a homemade apple or pumpkin pie to celebrate the season and make an extra while you’re at it for your neighbors. Finally, fall wouldn’t be complete without a nice campfire and roasting marshmallows and making smores.

Autumn is a great opportunity to spend time together doing activities as a family. Now that the kids are back in school, take advantage of your evenings and weekends to cross these items off your bucket list.

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Getting the House Back Together After Sending the Kids to School

Written by Marybeth Heckler on August 18, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

If you are a mom of school-age children, then the impending start of the school year is probably feeling like Christmas. You’re so excited to get them back at school so you can get things around the house organized and cleaned instead of having a bunch of little ones camped out all day in front of the TV.

This is a time to restart your house now that it’s empty, and you can do a little bit of “spring cleaning” in the fall. Here are some top tips on how to get your house back into shape after a grueling summer with the kids:

Clothes Clean-Up — One of the few things that kids get excited about when it comes to going back to school is shopping for new clothes. But if you’re going to make room for the new, this is the perfect time to clear out the old. Go through the kids’ closets and dressers and pull out all of the clothes that don’t fit anymore or are looking a little worn around the edges. Create a three-pile system—keep, donate, and trash. But don’t just do this for the kids. This is also a great time to get your own closet under control and pick yourself up a new outfit while you are at it.

Summer Gear and Toys — If you have a pool or go to the beach quite a bit, then chances are you have lots of swimming toys lying around, from sand pails and shovels to floats and noodles. Now is the perfect time to put these away. Be sure to deflate the floats completely and fold them up and place everything in a tote (or two) so that you can unpack them when the summer comes around again.

Refrigerator Maintenance — Now that the kids are gone, you should also take the time to get your refrigerator under control. Empty everything out and toss the expired foods. Be sure to clean all the drawers out with Clorox wipes to disinfect them. Also, pull the fridge out and be sure to clean off the coils to get rid of any accumulated dust. Now, you should have your fridge under control and be able to maintain it easier.

Change the Air Filters — This is something that you need to do once every quarter or so. However, it’s really easy to forget to do it and let that time slip. So, take this as a reminder to change out the filters.

School Supply Organization — If you have a home office or a desk that is used by the family for homework and computers, this is what you should use to get your school supplies organized. Extra paper, pens, and notebooks can be placed into bins and stored on or near the desk so that they can be pulled out when needed.

Now that summer is ending and everyone is heading back to school, it’s time to reclaim your home and get it back under control. This way, you can have some peace before the chaos of next summer arrives.

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Throwing the Best Garage Sale

Written by Marybeth Heckler on August 11, 2019. Posted in Motherhood.

Even though spring cleaning was a few months ago, summer is still a perfect time of the year to relieve some of the clutter and also make a little extra money at the same time.

A garage sale gives you the opportunity to turn your unwanted “stuff” into cash, while also clearing out the disorder that comes from having things taking up space in your closets, garage, and “junk” room. (You know the one—the room that started as a junk drawer until it migrated and took over.)

If you’ve never had a garage sale, or you’re just interested in picking up tips for your next one, here are what you need to consider:

1. Find the Best Date and Time
One thing you want to do is check in advance (at least a week) to get a general weather forecast. There’s no point in scheduling a sale if your weatherman is predicting a torrential downpour.

Generally, most people schedule their sales for Saturday mornings so that more people can attend as opposed to having it during a workday. If you have a lot of stuff to sell, you may want to have it over two days if you can (meaning a Saturday and Sunday). You also want to get the sale done early so you miss the heat of the day. Ideally, a 6 am to noon sale works best.

2. Advertise
The earlier you can advertise your garage sale, the better. Many people wait until the night before to put out signs. This is fine, but you want to do a little advertising earlier in the form of social media posts.

If you’re a member of an HOA (homeowner’s association) that has a Facebook page, post about your sale. Also, send out tweets and Instagram posts to try to get the word out. (NOTE: Many neighborhoods host “community garage sale” days where everyone in the area is encouraged to hold a sale. This can help bring in traffic, but the downside is that you have more competition.)

3. Declutter
Now you’re going to need stuff to sell. The best thing to do is get a box and go room by room through all of your belongings to find things you don’t want or need anymore. Have your kids do the same thing with their toys. As you put the items into the boxes, you can also keep tape on hand, so you can price them as you go. This way, you won’t have to go back and price everything later on.

4. Stock Up on Change
One of the worst things is to have someone want to buy an item and you not have enough change to cover the sale. Pick up at least $20 in quarters along with a mix of ones, fives, and tens. (If you can get about $100 total in change, you should be set. Remember, you can always re-deposit what you don’t use when you’re done.)

If you’re ready to get your house clutter under control and make some money at the same time, then a garage sale is definitely the way to go. If you’re left with a lot of stuff at the end, I always suggest just taking it out to your vehicles and donating it. If you can’t get the sale, at least someone may be able to use it and you can pick up a tax deduction in the process.

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